The next 6 weeks for me

[Thoros]

I'm done with my Pediatrics rotation, and moving on to OB/GYN. People tend to have mixed feelings about this rotation. All day looking at vaginas? Maybe it isn't the dream it sounds like. I frequent some forums for medical students, here's a post put up by one of my favorite members of the board about his OB/GYN rotation.

Originally I was just going to hi-jack another thread with this, but then I decided that my burning hatred of ob/gyn (its official name is "cooter medicine") deserves its own home.

Ob/gyn clinic is the worst thing ever. During family med if I saw one well-woman exam on the schedule for the day, I was clinically dysthymic. I wander into ob clinic each day and see like SIXTEEN well-woman exams, except these aren't well-women. These are women with yeast infections that are right out of some sci-fi movie. I want to dive under the bed and signal for the Enterprise to beam me off the Forbidden Candida Planet. I seriously wanted to ask these women what they've been feeding their vaginas. Horrifying. One woman told me that she has chronic vaginal pain with intercouse, but mostly it's just the posterior wall and if her husband avoids it then everything is fine. I then missed the next several sentences she said, as I decided that this man must have the smallest penis in the world if he is able to "avoid" an entire wall of the vagina. Another white-trash young pregnant woman with nasty-ass old-man-teeth came in because she got into a car wreck and it would be a tragedy for the world if she didn't successfully reproduce. We did an exam and she had all this white fluffy crap around her vagina. I glanced at my resident but she didn't say anything. Later on I asked her what the hell it was. "I don't know," she said. "It looked like toilet paper or something." Fantastic. Remind me if I ever come into the hospital for an urgent penis-related problem, that I should first scrape all the dried toilet paper off.

And you know, this rotation was the most foreign experience I've had during the third year. Even on my FIRST rotation, peds, I had some sort of idea what the hell was going on. I knew what a child looked like, for example. I have discovered that I didn't really know what a cervix looked like. And then there are the notes. On medicine, I was never completely stumped by even the most complicated and convoluted consult note. There might be some things here and there that I didn't immediately understand, or an acronym that I didn't recognize, but in general I always got the picture. And then comes ob/gyn, and all the notes are like:

"25 yo female G2P1053352, C3P0, 120.3 days gestation with Hx significant for GUPTO and BUPTO s/p splenic normal saline injection, negative fetal antenna sign, cervix sub-maximally dilated at 4 international Polish units and unresponsive to taint massage. JOPT/GULLY. Hobson's Triangle maneuver fails to produce stool dancing. U/S reveals fetal name is Hank."

The resident asks how many notes I'd like to write this morning. Um, how many? How about NONE, sorry, I don't speak f**king crazy ob/gyn-ese. I haven't the slightest goddamn clue what half this sh1t means. Here's my note:

"25 yo female with a couple kids, looks sorta fat. Been pregnant for a few months. Plan: wait for ugly baby to fall out."

Hate ob/gyn.

[hadriel]

rofl

[Jakhin]

Best. Post. Ever.

EDIT: lololol taint massage

[Tantelus]

LAWL

[Radtke]

sounds yummy where do i sign up?

[Talaryn]

ROFL

[Subalex]

I bet it's pretty tough to work with stuff and then come home and think of your GF's / Wife's stuff and not compare or have flashbacks. Eww :-\

[Titus]

Great Post Thoros.

[Arch]

HAVE FUN THOROS!!!

[Thoros]

I bet it's pretty tough to work with stuff and then come home and think of your GF's / Wife's stuff and not compare or have flashbacks. Eww :-\

Girlfriend? Wife? I know not of such things.

[Titus]

I bet it's pretty tough to work with stuff and then come home and think of your GF's / Wife's stuff and not compare or have flashbacks. Eww :-\

Girlfriend? Wife? I know not of such things.


Guess he should have said Tant.....

[Thoros]

Guess he should have said Tant.....

Tant's vagina is probably more frightening than anything I'll see in the GYN clinic.

[Titus]

lol

[False]

For constant reminders to thoros, tant should now be referred to as Taintelus.

[Talaryn]

For constant reminders to thoros, tant should now be referred to as Taintelus.

It shall be done.

[Subalex]

For constant reminders to thoros, tant should now be referred to as Taintelus.

It shall be done.


Man Law!

[Sylveslexi]

That was the single best post i have ever seen on the entirety of the internets.

http://img116.imageshack.us/img116/4441/legendarythreadba8.jpg

[hadriel]

lol sylv

[batusai]

nice ahahaha

[Trincap]

Funny thing is, I was about to write "That might sound fun on the surface but I bet it's disgusting as hell", then I read the quote which pretty much summed that up.
Yeah, I think I'd rather do proctology for a rotation. . . well . . . maybe not but it's damn close.

[Celnathor]

Funny thing is, I was about to write "That might sound fun on the surface but I bet it's disgusting as hell", then I read the quote which pretty much summed that up.
Yeah, I think I'd rather do proctology for a rotation. . . well . . . maybe not but it's damn close.


Heh, well, I think it's safe to say that given the nature of the job, 99.9% of what you'd see, one or more of the following apply to:

A) Is Pregnant/about to be pregnant

B) belongs to someone that you have no interest in seeing in... down there.

C) has something significantly wrong with it.

For as much as teenage boys joke about that sort of thing around the lunch table, it's probably not quite so glorious.

[Gravity]

[quote=Trincap ]For as much as teenage boys joke about that sort of thing around the lunch table, it's probably not quite so glorious.


No thanks. We talk about World of Warcraft. We're cooler than your table.

[Thoros]

People seriously need to learn how to use the quote function properly.

[andyt683]

People seriously need to learn how to use the quote function properly.





Yes

they

do.

[Bill]

Wow, that's funny as hell. GL looking at nasty snatches.

[Tantelus]

I cried laughing when I saw that legendary thread thing.

[Titus]

Thats awesome. Nice pic Sylv.

[Ignited]

HAHAHA'

[Thoros]

An update on my rotation, now that I have a few minutes of downtime.

I agree, OB/gyn blows. This rotation has been screwed up so badly that I hardly know where to begin.

OK, I guess my first complaint is that, although women are often considered the "gentler" sex, this is the first rotation where I've encountered outright patient hostility. My first experience of this was in my first week, when I was on labor and delivery. A pregnant woman came in with some sort of vaginal pain. As it turns out, she's a crack addict, and she would have had an abortion except she couldn't get a ride to a place where they do them. Chew on that for a bit. Not to mention that she somehow didn't notice that she was pregnant until 5 months into it. Also, she denied prostitution, although her boyfriend (may or not be the father of the baby) is her crack dealer, so I guess that makes her a crack whore. Anyway, she swore up and down that she had been tested for STDs, never had any, etc. Later on we check her old records and find out she's HIV positive. WTF? Since when do people admit to being crack whores, but then lie about being HIV positive to someone who might come in contact with her blood? As it turns out, she hasn't told her boyfriend/dealer either, so I suspect he's in for a rude surprise further on down the road.

Then, just this morning, I had to round (at 5:30 am, no less, because my resident wanted all my work done by 6:45) on two women who had some vag surgery done. As it turns out, they're related, and both frigging nurses. Great. As soon as I uttered the words "medical student", I could see on their faces that I had 0 credibility with them, because everyone knows that being 75% of the way to an MD is no match for a bachelor's degree in cleaning crap off the floor. They intentionally asked ridiculous questions about their procedures and didn't accept any answer I gave. For example, when I said to one that her operation went "pretty smoothly", she asked why it wasn't completely perfect, and demanded to know all the theoretical problems that could come from a small (repaired) tear on her vagina. I almost felt like they were accusing them of doing surprise surgery on them without consent. Even worse, when I went from one to the other, and started TALKING to the second one, she pointed out that I had not washed my hands between them. Which was true, but I hadn't touched her, either. I aquiesced to make her happy. Then, when my resident strolled in at 7, they both couldn't wait to tell her that I tried to examine them without washing my hands. %$#! YOU!

This is also the first rotation where I would feel embarassed to tell people what I do some days. For example, yesterday my time in the OR was basically split between staring at a disembodied vagina (everything else was covered), and standing by the woman's leg holding a retractor while the operation actually went on. I've had days where my primary purpose was to copy and paste the same note every two hours for a woman who wasn't progressing through labor. Tonight, I'm on call, because even though this hospital doesn't actually use a call system, somebody decided that every woman delivering at 2 am deserves to have her own disgruntled male medical student yanking out her placenta.

More bitching and complaining to come if I get some time later today.

[Talaryn]

This thread gets better and better!

[Bill]

First, I'm glad I'll be working today and leaving at 5 to go home and raid with my friends in Naxx.



OK, I guess my first complaint is that, although women are often considered the "gentler" sex, this is the first rotation where I've encountered outright patient hostility. My first experience of this was in my first week, when I was on labor and delivery. A pregnant woman came in with some sort of vaginal pain. As it turns out, she's a crack addict, and she would have had an abortion except she couldn't get a ride to a place where they do them. Chew on that for a bit. Not to mention that she somehow didn't notice that she was pregnant until 5 months into it. Also, she denied prostitution, although her boyfriend (may or not be the father of the baby) is her crack dealer, so I guess that makes her a crack whore. Anyway, she swore up and down that she had been tested for STDs, never had any, etc. Later on we check her old records and find out she's HIV positive. WTF? Since when do people admit to being crack whores, but then lie about being HIV positive to someone who might come in contact with her blood? As it turns out, she hasn't told her boyfriend/dealer either, so I suspect he's in for a rude surprise further on down the road.

That's nuts, like she doesn't expect you to look into her records? Wow, talk about a suprise to that guy. Hey man, you have a baby & HIV, good luck with both of those things...

As soon as I uttered the words "medical student", I could see on their faces that I had 0 credibility with them, because everyone knows that being 75% of the way to an MD is no match for a bachelor's degree in cleaning crap off the floor.

ROFLMAO!

We'll all be happy for you when you're finally done with all of this dude. I'm sure you will too!

[Trincap]

Ugh. And man do I mean Ugh. Huge sympathy for you Thor. On the bright side, if you come back to that hospital you are going to bitch slap those nurses if they are ever on staff. Sounds like torture though.